talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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