I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
