We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
