ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
