part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
