WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
