summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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