boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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