I'm lost and stupid without you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
