I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
