so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
