Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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