I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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