1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
