it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
only you would photoshop your dick
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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