It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
