Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
