DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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