Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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