big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
