We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
