After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
