I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
