you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
