fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
