We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Randomize
