...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
