Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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