IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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