Kiss
Puke
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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