so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
