Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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