If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
