why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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