Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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