He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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