How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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