ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
