Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
