there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
