M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
