try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
