I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we're making bets on your personal life
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
