the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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