It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
