I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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