Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
