Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
