clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
