The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
