This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
