Are we in a gay sports bar?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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