I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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