Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
