We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
