That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
