Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
