No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
