UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
