imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
